I've been away for a while, mostly on facebook because,well, it's an addiction. I feel important in my little corner of the Facebook world. I know about soap making, so I hang around the soap making pages offering help/advice to newbies. I hang around low carb pages too, sort of feeling like a stranger in this 'new age' low carb world.
I've had militant, and I mean MILITANT women tell me I have no idea what I'm talking about, of course they can have bread, sugar, and fruits, and veggies, not eat fats and keep their carb count around 100-200 a day and still lose weight. A week later they're whining that they've not lost gained on this diet, it's a gimmick, it's too much trouble, because O.M.G! They GAINED weight.
While their less militant friends pet and console them, I'm in my little corner, because that's where I let them shove me off to...muttering to myself I told you so....
Their biggest downfall is thinking they can game the system. That works out well doesn't it? Let's start with gaming the system.
Bread..sure you can have it. They all try the cloud bread which is just cream cheese, eggs, cream of tartar and they promptly hate it, it tastes, get this...too eggy.. Same for cauliflower bread. Personally, I like it but rarely make it because I'm simply not a bread kind of girl. So they all end up with the low carb breads made with wheat (stall number one) and pure cane juice...venture a guess what cane juice is? Certainly isn't rocket science and it's stall number 2.
What I don't get is this OMG I MUST HAVE BREAD!!! Mentality. I know why folks ate it back in the day, it was cheap. It was filling, and relatively easy to make. It also didn't have all the garbage ingredients in it that store purchased bread does have these days, like pure cane juice...also known as sugar. And there it is. My answer.
Hi. my name is Melissa and I'm a sugar addict.
It's like a heroin addiction, damn near impossible to kick. It's the one thing I see repeatedly. The desire to lose weight, but not give up anything to do it and it's all just an addiction. It's the one thing I struggle with and these days my body has a lot to say about my addiction.
Every time I eat a carb laden treat, I end up with a yeast infection that has been known to spread along my inner thighs and under that lovely mother's apron that won't go away as long as I keep shoveling carrot cake and brownies in my face. Better yet I break out head to toe in psoriasis every time I pop a luscious brownie in my mouth, because gluten is a psoriasis trigger, guess what else feeds the psoriasis outbreak, candida. What feeds the candida? Sugar, wheat, starch.
Candida also causes bloat and swelling and stubborn weight gain. I now have eczema on my feet, guess what causes that (besides stress), candida, fueled by gluten, fueled by wheat and sugar. So I'm trapped in a vicious circle.
I'm itching just talking about it.
There's only 1 way out and I'm working on it, again.
Dear Lord, I'm back to 240 pounds, only 40 more and I'll be back where I started 6 years ago, only older.
Confession is good for the soul. I confess I've been a horrible blogger. I've been a horrible dieter. And it really is time to get over myself and get healthy again. I'll confess, the only thing even remotely motivating me is that I don't want to buy any more bigger sized clothing when I have a huge wardrobe of cute things hanging in my closet. The other thing motivating me is the infernal itching from hell! I had to cut my nails off because I itch so badly some days that I have actually drawn blood. I liked my longer nails.
I confess that I saw a picture of me from a Christmas party and thought OMG am I really that fat again!
I am the woman in the black and white blouse standing behind another woman in a red jacket in the Christmas picture. I am in the peach striped tee shirt in the picture under it. I've actually put on another 20 lbs since the striped tee shirt pic was taken.
I am singularly embarrassed by both pictures. This is not where I thought I would be by now.
And now I get to start over....