Saturday, April 30, 2011

First 5k Down...When's the next one?

Walking a 5k instead of running was just a bit on the humiliating side after all the running I've done.  Especially so when some of the people participating the the 5k have seen and commented on seeing me run yet there I was walking it.  There were a lot of people walking, but I wanted to be in the runners' group!  However, shin splints have once again reared their ugly heads and it's time to go to the doctor to have a look at what the exact problem is.  I've been running since February.  That's 3 months of running in the cold, in the rain, with shin splints, without shin splints, and in 3 different pairs of 'special' running shoes.  Surely at 41 I'm not so over the hill and so overweight still that I can't overcome obstacles as mundane as shin splints.

I did run with them, except that the pain has become so unbearable that I want to cry.  It feels like someone kicked me in the shins with steel toe boots. Sigh.

Otherwise, I feel great and really want to do it again!  Where and when is the next one?

Monday, April 25, 2011

When You're Afraid

One of my co-workers walked up to me last week and said "I want to lose weight, but I'm afraid."

My automatic response was "Afraid of what?'

Her reply was "I'll fail, I like bread too much."

She's a carb addict and that's okay.  Sometimes fear is an indication of needing more information.  Bread is not necessarily the enemy here.  It's the overly processed stuff that deserves the bad rap. My advice was simple, find a better bread.  Pepperidge Farms 15 grain bread, has a lot of calories but it also has a lot of fiber, it doesn't have high fructose corn syrup in it and is more satisfying than plain old white bread.  There's also a brand of bread called Healthy Life with no high fructose corn syrup and has many forms, from 35 calorie to sugar free to high fiber content and everything in between.  If you can't find a bread you like in the Healthy Life bread line you're not really serious about weight loss.

It's okay too, to indulge in a pastry or pie or cookie every once in a while. I ate mashed potatoes this weekend.  I'm not the food police, enjoy what you like, in moderation.

If you find yourself afraid, ask yourself what it is you're afraid of?  Do you need more information?  If so, research it, ask questions.  Don't live in fear.  It's better to try to defeat your fear than let it rule your life.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

In My Mary Kay Starter Kit

Surprised?  I also sold Pampered Chef, I made more money with Pampered Chef, but I got bored with it.  I"m not going to try to recruit you, oh no, I was just thinking about the speeches I listened to years ago about "What Was In MY Mary Kay Starter Kit" and it started me thinking about what I finally decided was in my starter kit: I had 2 toddlers and was a stay at home mom when I started selling Mary Kay in 2000 not so much for anything other than something to do and to be around adult women. My director was a woman out of Richmond Texas so I was 'adopted' by a local director who inadvertently made me feel like I was less than desireable because I was a stay at home mom living in a trailer with no life so I decided to sell Mary Kay. While that was true, she should have never appraoched my situation like that.  She would use me as an example to shame her 'unit' into recruiting because 'there poor Melissa was in that trailer with 2 kids and we didnt' find her, someone from Texas did..."  They weren't looking for me, I was looking for them. Somewhere to fit in. Somewhere to belong.  Obviously it wasn't in her 'adopted' unit.

It wasn't long before I was blessedly adopted by another director and started going places, not with finances, but actually out of the house and travelling with my new adopted Mary Kay unit.  That may have been the best thing to ever have happened to me.  I went to my first Mary Kay Career Conference with Le Ann Moses, and became fast best buddies, shopping partners, and out and out partners in crime as our husbands began calling us.  This career conference is also where I first set eyes on Mary Kay Ash herself, in a taped interview, but hey it was Mary Kay speaking and she was quite the public speaker, but I began to feel I really was called to do something better with my life, but I also knew it wouldn't be in the Mary Kay company.

As I sat out with outher consultants during lunch break I noted how many of them were dowdy dumpy frumpy overly made up overweight women.  They were some of the nicest, friendliest, kindest  women you would ever meet, but...they, like me, were overweight. And it made me wonder if they were looking for that same something I was looking for?  Acceptance maybe?

I heard one of the top directors at Career Conference say "I can't promise you what is inside that Mary Kay starter kit, it might be a vacation, it might be your children's college education, or it might even be a pink cadillac. What is in there is what you decide."

I remember sighing as I watched my very last MK order delivered just knowing that I was one of those fat dumpy frumpy overweight Mary Kay failures, except, my Senior director told me something I never forgot.  "Melissa I feel a leader in you.  You have a presence about you that just draws people to you.  You're going to be great."  It may have been a canned, rehearsed speech.  It may have been something she told everyone in her unit, but I took it to heart because no one else ever said that to me, ever.

My husband has always said I should have been a teacher. So, in reading your comments, and putting those two random comments together I wonder if I've found my leadership potential that my senior director commented on, or my inner teacher has found her way out?  Who knows?

Just last week one of my friends from church said I had inspired her to get out of her house and walk because she had seen me out walking and running in the dead heat of the afternoon.

Maybe what was in that pink boxed starter kit wasn't a pink cadillac, but my self confidence, and a couple of lifelong friends, and who can put a price on those?

I dont' feel like a leader. Most of the time I feel like a massive failure who has been tossed out in the fore front because I was brave enough to put my weight problems in a blog?

If I can do it, you can too, regardless of how overweight you are, no matter your age, no matter your health problems, you can do it.  One step at a time, then two.  You don't have to do what I do because I'm not a doctor, or a weight loss expert, or a trainer.  I'm just me. If you need to, build on what I have in this blog, tweak it to make it your own.  Only you know yourself better than anyone else. You know your limits.  You know your drive. You know your motivation.

Feel free to tell me about it or not, your choice.

Right now, I'm going to surf the net.  I've already been out on a one mile walk, I'll be doing some toning exercises later this afternoon and some sun bathing while grilling chicken for supper.  My kids have some school work to do and I have a house to clean.  I'm off from Kmart tonight. That's how I spend my days, and I blog a little on the side.


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Stability Balls should come with warnings

Actually they do come with warnings, but I'm just human enough to read them and ignore them.  My ball rolled out from under me yesterday dumping me on the floor, hurting my shoulder.  I'm nice and sore from it today.  It sort of feels like a sprain. Can one sprain a shoulder?  I'm thinking yes and if it isn't any better tomorrow I'll probably go to the doctor. 


I had a wonderful workout on the ball otherwise, even getting back on it after my spill.  It didnt' hurt immediately so I thought I wasn't hurt.  My abs are a bit sore today too. ahhh!  I know I worked out yesterday!  Going to go run later this afternoon before the rain gets here again.  April showers are supposed to bring May flowers so I better have some gorgeous flowers next month!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Oopsie alert! And a recipe

A few pages back there's a recipe for tofu cheesecake, for whatever reason it doesn't turn out right. When I get a chance I'll go back and find the paper version of the recipe to see what I did wrong.

In the meantime here's a yummy recipe that my family adores.  It isn't low calorie, but it is pretty good and on the not so bad for you list:

1 bag frozen CHEESE ravioli
1 turkey sausage cut into half inch thick slices
1 15-20 oz can organic spaghetti sauce
1 bag grated/shredded cheese
2 tbsp ground flaxseed

Pour the ravioli into a deep baking dish.  Toss the sausage rounds in with the ravioli.  Pour spaghetti sauce over the mixture, cover with cheese. Sprinkle with ground flaxsed.  Place in 400 degree oven for 20-25 minutes.  Serve with a side salad of your choice, dressing on the side, whole/multigrain rolls, and drink of your choice. 


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I suppose it's all in how you look at it?

I'm in a rambly talkative mood tonight so just hang with me.

Don't get me wrong after reading the post below.  I am still participating in the 5K just not on the level I'd hoped to be on.  It's my first 5k so I'm  not supposed to be superwoman, right?

Last night one of my co-workers stopped me to tell me she'd eaten cake every day last week but had still lost 3 pounds.  She rocks!   Cake doesnt' like my stomach.  Nowadays most sweet things don't like my stomach, nor do salty or greasy things, not that I dont' eat them anyway, I just don't eat as much.

I'm proud of her.  It goes to show it's not necessarily what you eat but how much, or in this case it isn't even about quality but quantity?

Have you seen those  news articles about the man who ate nothing but twinkies for a month (ewww gross!) and lost a lot of weight?  Event the more famous Jarret or Jarrod? Who ate subway sandwiches to lose weight. I'd hate to know what their blood sugar levels, choleseterol counts, and so on are, wouldn't you?

I used to love Subway, but I've not eaten there in years because of a snub they gave homeschoolers.  I had eaten there frequently up to that point.  Hmmm, I didn't lose a pound either.  Gained a lot though.

I ate out frequently because I was hardly ever home.  And I was hardly ever home because we lived in the modern day equivalent of a hovel.  A singlewide 30 year old trailer with no heat or air.  The windows were either open or closed but wouldn't do both.  I would load my babies in the car in the early morning hours before it got too hot because my car had dual air conditioning, you  know the kind where you roll the windows down on either side =), and we would go to grandma's   house or we would go to WalMart where there was a McDonald's inside.  We would hang around all day and eat at Mickey D's.  How's that for keeping your girlish figure?  I used to joke I didn't have curves but now that I do they curve in the wrong direction!

Nowadays we're living in a house, unfortunately the air has decided not to work for whatever reason so we're running ceiling fans until the air is fixed.  We don't get out and run around and eat out like we used to, but it's just as easy to eat bad stuff while sitting in front of the computer or television, or Wii console.  In fact it's even more inviting to eat bad stuff, live the couch potato lifestyle and pretend that you're not fat, you're just fluffy.  Try telling that to your insulin levels, I'm sure they'll pay attention.

I'm in the mood to run tonight, but my shins feel like I've been kicked, hard, repeatedly in the shins due to the shin splints.  Yay, fun...not.

The boys are off to their friend's house for the evening.  Hubby still at work.  I've already had my daily dose of natural, sun provided vitamin D and I scrubbed my bathroom and the kitchen.  Wonder what else I can find to get into?

5k speed bump Ahead

Seventeen days until my first ever 5k.  Not sure how I feel about it since there's no way I can run the whole thing now that shin splints are rearing their ugly heads again. What do I have to do to get past them once and for all?  I did exactly what I was told, R.I.C.E. and get different running shoes with maximum stability since I overpronate..  What did it get me? some time off, my shins felt fine until today, I've been told to pushon through it I've also been told to not push through it as it may result in stress fractures.  I dont' need stress fractures!

I'm looking at plan B...running part and walking the rest since it is a run/walk 5k.  I'd rather be running it, but will accept that I can't and look ahead to the next one in May.

Monday, April 11, 2011

In Case You Missed It

For my followers here who don't have me friended on facebook, click on the post title to go to my 'story'

Where do I go from here?  5k at the endo f the month. Bikini body by august...and I have the outline of a book in the rough draft stages.  Sounds like a plan huh?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Get on your feet

Or off your ass, depending on how you want to look at it.  I did both =)

I've been out on the trail at Tellico today since about 8:30.  It's a beautiful, sunny, HUMID, spring morning. 

Shin splints are not bothering me.  I can slow run or fast jog, again, depending on how you want to look at it, for a good bit now.  I'm certainly not up to a 5k, but I'm going to do it anyway.  This will be my first 5k and I'm actually excited about it.  Even in my teens at 88 pounds I couldn't run.  Just goes to show, it doesn't matter  how much you weigh, skinny isn't any healthier than fat. Take good care of yourself.  You only have one body, if it gives out on you, you're in a lot of trouble.

I find my motivation and strength in different things.  My original motivation was the mean spirited comment about my being 'third rate, fat, old, and gray."  Truth be told, those were two seperate comments made on two different days within the same week.  And I stupidly, or blindly, I'm not sure which any more, agreed with it.  Then I got mad.  I don't like putting words in peoples mouths any more than I like having words put in mine.  And I had a secret arsenal, the strong will and determination I'd garnered growing up.  I wasn't raised by weak parents.  I didn't have weak willed grandparents.  I  doubt you'll find much in the way off weak will anywhere if you search either my paternal or maternal sides.

I also understand not everyone has that kind of strength of will and determination. 

You have to look deep inside you to find it.  I'd buried mine for some reason.  Take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror, naked if you have to and tell yourself the truth.  Is fat truly beautiful to you?  If so, then tell your detractors to go have some cake and ice cream.  If not, search even deeper, find your motivation, make a goal and go for it.

I'll support you when no one else will.  I'll root for you; be on your side even when you're wiping crumbs off your mouth for the tenth time today.  I' might get a bit frustrated with you, but hey, I'm human, so are you. We all have our weaknesses/limitations.  You probably know what yours are.  Figure out a way to deal with it your way.

This is how I did it:

1) Find your motivation, actually it was handed to me on a silver platter.
2) Set a realistic goal.  2 pounds off this month 2x12 is 24 pound in  year afterall, (psst!I'll bet you lose more)
3) Make small, gradual changes in your eating habits.
4) Don't deny yourself anything, especially if it's something you enjoy, just limit it to enough to satisfy your cravings.  Usually a bite or two makes me happy.
5) Get up and move.  You don't have to run a 5k.  I hadn't planned on a 5k in my life, now that it's approaching pretty quickly, I want it here so I can go on to the next 5k.  I"m afraid I may need intervention eventually!
6) I know I just said get up and move, but blog about your trials and tribulations.  Sometimes, when I'm writing I solve my own dilemma.  Usually it smacks me on the head.

When I first started my blog, it was with the intentions to chronicle my weight loss story.  It is starting to take on a life of its own. It's giving me serious performance anxiety =p.  Don't get me wrong, I love followers and I crave comments much like I want some ice cream right now, but I have a very serious fear of failure too.  Cheer me on and I'll cheer you on.


Thursday, April 7, 2011

WOW! Hi Everyone!

Just a short post to let you know that I'm having comp problems, yet again, and I had NO CLUE that my story had been posted on AOL.

I'm so glad you found me!

I should be back up and running soon and I have a lot to say.  I do get very opinionated and bossy so just hang with me, we'll all reach our goals together, one way or another.