I happened to catch the tail end of an interview on some morning show a couple of days ago where Stephanie Dolgoff, author of My Formerly Hot Life, was being interviewed about her book. She came across as purely self centered then but I tought I'd give her a chance. I mean, c'mon, I'm 41, can't claim to ever have been hot. I'm not too shabby, unless you count the last 11 years of my life I spent being very overweight. But her decision that the best years of her life are behind her because some guy didn't flirt with her on the subway...ugh...how utterly shallow can she be? And maybe he was gay? Do you really want a gay guy to flirt with you? Smacks of desperation if you do.
I happen to think I'm in the best years of my life. I'm steadily working toward getting my weight and girly figure back, granted there will have to be some minor adjustments to the disappearing/droopy breasts, but hey, I didn't have them when I was young and skinny why expect anything any different now? I fully intend to be a hot 40 something. But I have some work to do first..
Hey Stephanie! Try working out to get that figure back so you don't have to wear Spanx! A good moisturizer and microdermabrasion does wonders for sallow skin. Concealer for those dark circles under your eyes, better yet, get more sleep and vitamin K. And I'd advise you to not tell Brooke Shields, Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, Julia Roberts, or Faith Hill, to name a few, that you think they're not hot because they're in their 40's.
I'm looking at it this way. In my teens I was gangly legged and awkward, certainly had no self confidence. In my 20's I was struggling to find my place in this world, got married, finished college, travelled in Europe, and had kids. In my 30's I honed skills I learned in my 20's, raised my kids, was a stay at home mom, and now, in my 40's I like where I am but I want more and I'm free to do more now that my kids are more than half grown. I'm learning who I am outside the home. I'm taking much better care of myself and I'm a much happier person.
Sure, at 41, I'm in uncharted territory. Peri menopause is rearing its ugly head. Menopause is breathing down my neck. Saggy boobs are a source of jokes for me and my husband who advises I just 'roll 'em up' and stuff 'em in my bra because, unless someone looks, no one will notice. Coming from someone who didn't have boobs until after I gave birth, I'm just happy they're there and I know I can always find a plastic surgeon to 'fix' them. But I"m content.
I'm happy with me. I don't place my self esteem in my looks or lack thereof, neither should you. Get some counselling if it depresses you that you're over 40. I once told my husband I can't do anything about being older, but I can do something about being better and more fit. Try it. You might actually find a new niche in life and you also might discover you've still got it after all.